it’s only 10 a.m. and i think this shall be a wonderful day. first of all, i talked to my boyfriend last night AND this morning, so that was nice. it turns out he was out of town, so he wasn’t on facebook a lot. basically, i realized i’m just a huge attention whore. on the other hand, i’m having a really bad hair day. by bad hair day, i don’t mean that it’s frizzy or won’t fall right or whatever, i mean that it’s rapidly getting thinner and thinner and i can’t seem to deal with it today. what’s incredibly frustrating is that my mom and dad say that it’s stopped thinning, but it really hasn’t. they told me to go to the dermatologist again if it’s really bothering me. first of all, it is bother me. A LOT. secondly, i went to the dermatologist a couple of months ago, and i completely FREAKED out and ended up crying so hard i was hyperventilating. i know it’s ridiculous, but i couldn’t calm myself down. plus, when i go, the test to see if my hair is really falling out is grabbing a chunk and yanking it. ugh, i’m getting stressed just thinking about it. to make myself feel better, i always told myself to think about the start of sophomore year, when my hair would be better and thick and shiny, just like it was before all of this started. as of now, though, it seems like it will just be even worse than it is now. no matter what i do, i can’t make it stop, and it’s driving me insane. if this doesn’t stop soon, i’m really going to lose my mind. on the up side though, i’ve been more able to control my prayer compulsions. i only said the sentence once and then i stuffed food in my mouth. for some reason, once i start eating, i don’t have to say it anymore. the hard part is stopping myself from saying it 10+ times before i actually start eating. if i get a little better at controlling my compulsions, i won’t have to take medicine! i absolutely REFUSE to take medicine. i actually have already come up with a plan to avoid taking it if it’s prescribed.
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