Yeah so this weekend I feel like I’ve been cheating a little more then I should have but not insanely bad…just more carbs then I’m allowed to have in one meal…and sodium. Back on the wagon today—promise. So I’ve decided I LOVE this freaking oatmeal…its delicious and filling, especially when I add the ground flax into it.Today is my day off from crazy Jillian…I seriously needed a break.
Update on hair—Its not falling out AS fast as it was before BUT I’ve been scrunching it and not washing it nearly as often. Hell its summer, my hair can look like shit and they consider it bedhead and sexy. lol I notice a big difference in my hair sense starting the prenatal vitamins, flax, and biotin. Its really soft and shiny and the cuticles seem to be thicker, now if I can just keep it from falling out. I’m having Dustin run another vitamin deficiency test to see if any levels have come back up (the joy of dating a lab tech at a gigantic hospital). I’m seeing a huge trend in women who have vitamin D deficiencies and hair loss. Even friends without PCOS but lack D are going bald. SO if its still low I’ll call my doc and ask what mg to start taking. I’m very forward with my heathcare, I know I annoy the shit out of my doctor but I want to be very well informed and have all my questions answered even if I make her late. lol She never gets mad, but usually just asks to see my list of questions before I start. lol
Unrelated—I talked to him last night and his excuse for ignoring me was that he was exhausted and wanted to be mindless for a few days. I understand to some part because he IS working 40+ hrs (like 60 this week) and had class 2 nights of the week, but thats still not excuse to come home and act like an ass. He apologized and said “you know your dating an asshole lol *hugs*”. Maybe he could tell I was pretty upset. I pushed it a little further.
-My ex bf (from like 2006) is in Iraq right now, we have kept very close through his deployment until recently, he started seeing a girl/talking to her regularly. I’ll admit it, it bothered me. She just turned 18 and hes 24…she constantly posts pictures of herself and other men in her bedroom in bed…then blows up his fb wall with mushy teenager lovie crap. I told him I didnt like the loop shes stringing him on but it was his decision. He said he hated the fact I was dating a selfish guy who didnt know what he had. I guess it was an equal blow. He is on a 16 month tour, and he comes home next month for R&R, whats strange is his family lives out here but he wanted me to come get him from the airport. I know there is an unresolved spark there…we had that talk months and months ago, after his first few months on tour…he admitted he was still in love with me and screwed up the relationship because we were just kids…that hed do just about anything for one more shot, but he knew it was already too late. We broke up because hes still in love with the ex before me, still talks to her, he knows he can never have her but tried like hell (shes engaged and has 2 kids with a guy). I didnt want that mess again…didnt want to leave what I have to have my heart broken again. I do love dustin with all my heart, I just wish for things I cant have…like a ring and a family. I consider what makes me happy and he does, he makes me incredibly happy…but then I think about the ex and that fairy tale moment happens…you know this—I’m holding a sign at the airport and hes in uniform and we hug and blah blah blah. Its time to grow up, I have a great thing here and its just not worth messing up over some fantasy that would never work. Hes gonna be stationed in nebraska with her, I wont seem him anymore after next month because he wants to start med school. It would never work out. Right? Dustin feels right for me, when I hold his hand I still feel that electrical spark, when we kiss I still melt, when he holds me I still feel like time stops. I just wish he would want the same goals. =/
—he messaged me last night to tell me my new picture was beautiful. Confusion…seriously.
Lastly I cannot figure out how to ask questions on peoples pages…i keep looking for the damn ask button but ITS NOT THERE….what am I doing wrong??
